14 October

4 years since I lost Baba.
It is said time heals. I am not sure. But, then it might be true. Now, I am able to think of him without crying most of the times. I can smile remembering what he said. I can cherish his thoughts without tears. And then there are times when I want to hug him, I want to ask for his advice, I want to  know his opinion, just want to speak with him. Then I feel helpless.
When I became pregnant, the first thought that crossed my mind was how would my baby know him. And I cried a lot. Adu has started saying 'papa' now. And I showed her baba's photo and said, "That's my papa, that's mumma's papa, Adu", and then held her tight and cried.

And today, I so much want to be with Aai. To hold her, to comfort her. Instead I'm so far away from her. I called her many times today. She tried to sound normal so that I don't worry. I know she is upset, very! She misses Baba every single day, but refrains from mentioning it, even tries to appear cheerful so that we don't constantly worry about her. I want her to be happy.

Insight

Whenever I return from a holiday (long or a short one), I realize-

1. There is more beauty in the world than I (busy in my routine) give it credit for and it is found at the most unexpected places.
2. My bed in my home is the most comfortable of all.