7th March 2012, 6:20 pm- the single most unparalleled moment of my life.
It was an elective cesarean as the baby's head was quite high up at 40 weeks gestation. We had an appointment with my obstetrician- Dr. O'Rourke on the 6th and after the ultrasound, he told us that I had less than 10% chance of having a normal delivery. So, the choice was between 7th and 8th March. Ritesh wanted to hold the baby sooner than later and I had another reason to choose the 7th- my baby's birthday would coincide with Aai-Baba's marriage anniversary.
So, on 7th, Ritesh and I went to the doctor's, early morning to get the paper work in order. My mum & aunt (Jaya Mavshi) had come here from India to help us out. They were ready with the food to be taken to the hospital. We put my packed bag and the food supplies in the car and started for the hospital. After some blood tests, I was admitted to a room. I soon changed and the mid-wife promptly got me the tags. My operation was scheduled at 1 pm. But, due to some other emergency, it was moved to the 3pm slot. But then, as we kept waiting till 4.30 and nothing happened, my mum became very impatient. I kept asking her to cool down and that I will be taken in very soon. Actually, I feared that she might chasten somebody for the delay. I had my breakfast before 7 in the morning that day and had nothing since then. Now, my mum being my mum, she went straight to the mid-wife on duty and started inquiring about the status and told her that I had not had a single drop of water for more than 10 hours. Now, my mum is quite strong even in the face of adversities, so I felt a pang when I saw that she was fighting back her tears while talking to the mid-wife.
Soon after 5, I was taken towards the Operation theater. Ritesh was asked to put on OT apron and cap. I was taken in the OT and the anesthetist started working on me. Once, the veins found and IV in place, she started administering epidural to me. Now, I am really scared of needles. And, throughout my pregnancy, I held on to Ritesh's hand tightly for all the blood-tests. So, when I was found to have gestational diabetes and had to test my blood glucose four times a day, I thought that was my chance to fight my fear. After all, I didn't want to pass on my fears to my baby. And then, when diet control and exercise could not bring the glucose level in check, I started taking insulin injections everyday. But, I think we can't fight all our fears, we just learn to manage them and get on with life, and they do resurface from time to time. And that's what I did. Without actively thinking, I kept doing what was good for my baby. But, there lying on the operation table, shivering with cold, as I saw Dr. O'Rourke enter, all those fears came back. I felt that the epidural wasn't working and told the anesthetist so. She asked me to lift my foot and I told her that I could easily do that. In fact, I thought I was lifting it only to realize that it had become too heavy for me to lift and I had not moved it even an inch. So, after making a complete fool of myself, I settled and started hoping for the best. The doctors started cutting me open, a curtain was raised and Ritesh was brought in.
Then after waiting for what felt like an eternity, the doctor asked Ritesh if he had his camera ready. And then, we heard the baby- our baby cry. That's how Advika came into this world with her head held high! Ritesh squeezed my hand rather too hard in excitement. Or was it the other way round? Anyway, then he got busy with taking photographs. Later on, he joined the pediatrician as he carried out Apgar test and general examination. All that done, Ritesh brought the baby to me. I couldn't hold her properly as my hands had tubes going everywhere. So, the midwife put her face down on me and I kissed her. Ritesh of course was there holding the baby and I started smiling and crying all at once. I was completely oblivious of the pack of medical professionals surrounding me and didn't try to hold back those tears even once. In fact, nothing else really mattered then.
Ritesh accompanied the midwife to weigh the baby. I was stitched back and before they let me go, they needed my blood sample for baby's cord blood storage. I wanted them to quicken the process and in those few moments I felt no fear of the needles poking repeatedly at my arms and hands in sometime futile attempt to find the veins and fill in those 4 test-tubes. When I was sent out of the OT, I couldn't wait to see my baby again. But, I was brought in the 'recovery room'. When I asked where my husband and the baby were to the midwife there, she told me that they would be in the room upstairs. She said that she thought she saw them, going through the corridor some time back- a radiant daddy, proudly holding his baby. She told me that they had all stopped from work to see the duo. "Yes, that would be them", I smiled. I vigorously shook the doctor's hand when he came to check the readings of various instruments, then connected to me. I thanked him and told him that I was absolutely fine, had no trouble whatsoever and feeling great. That confirmed for him that the effect of anesthesia had not started to wear out. After keeping me under observation for about half an hour, I was sent to my room.
That night, in the hospital room with Ritesh and Advika, sleep eluded me. I just could not take my eyes off my baby- so small, so perfect! After a while, when she became a bit unsettled and we could not figure out the problem, I asked Ritesh to put her on me. Soon, she seemed satisfied and decided to get some sleep. Patting her softly, I thought- Life is good!
Then after waiting for what felt like an eternity, the doctor asked Ritesh if he had his camera ready. And then, we heard the baby- our baby cry. That's how Advika came into this world with her head held high! Ritesh squeezed my hand rather too hard in excitement. Or was it the other way round? Anyway, then he got busy with taking photographs. Later on, he joined the pediatrician as he carried out Apgar test and general examination. All that done, Ritesh brought the baby to me. I couldn't hold her properly as my hands had tubes going everywhere. So, the midwife put her face down on me and I kissed her. Ritesh of course was there holding the baby and I started smiling and crying all at once. I was completely oblivious of the pack of medical professionals surrounding me and didn't try to hold back those tears even once. In fact, nothing else really mattered then.
Ritesh accompanied the midwife to weigh the baby. I was stitched back and before they let me go, they needed my blood sample for baby's cord blood storage. I wanted them to quicken the process and in those few moments I felt no fear of the needles poking repeatedly at my arms and hands in sometime futile attempt to find the veins and fill in those 4 test-tubes. When I was sent out of the OT, I couldn't wait to see my baby again. But, I was brought in the 'recovery room'. When I asked where my husband and the baby were to the midwife there, she told me that they would be in the room upstairs. She said that she thought she saw them, going through the corridor some time back- a radiant daddy, proudly holding his baby. She told me that they had all stopped from work to see the duo. "Yes, that would be them", I smiled. I vigorously shook the doctor's hand when he came to check the readings of various instruments, then connected to me. I thanked him and told him that I was absolutely fine, had no trouble whatsoever and feeling great. That confirmed for him that the effect of anesthesia had not started to wear out. After keeping me under observation for about half an hour, I was sent to my room.
That night, in the hospital room with Ritesh and Advika, sleep eluded me. I just could not take my eyes off my baby- so small, so perfect! After a while, when she became a bit unsettled and we could not figure out the problem, I asked Ritesh to put her on me. Soon, she seemed satisfied and decided to get some sleep. Patting her softly, I thought- Life is good!
